No Meltdowns
No Meltdowns
Kids are like little nuclear power plants, when something goes wrong alarms blare and demand attention. Unlike nuclear power, which is supposed to work forever, your kids typically last two hours after a meal before their cute eyes start to water and they’re face crunches up and you know your night with friends is about to end. Yet, there is a secret method I’ve developed over the years with my friends kids called “no meltdowns.” You look at the kid seriously like they’re a new hire and simply say “no meltdowns…” Trust me, kids know what it means when you say #nomeltdowns
Step 1: Calmly explain that meltdowns equal bed time
Step 2: By the time your kid is four this will start working
Helpful Hints!
If your kid is crying hand him back to his mommy, mommies can fix anything
Step 1: The first parenting book you read said to comfort your kid in meltdown
Step 2: The second parenting book you read said to let your kid in meltdown self-sooth
Helpful Hints!
Please just try the stupid no meltdowns trick a couple times
Step 1: You notice your kid starting to meltdown
Step 2: Tell them “no meltdowns”
Helpful Hints!
If they still meltdown (unlikely!), hand them to one of your nannies and have them sent to the opposite wing of the house.